In response to Jazz
We were rare and lonely spirits, listening to the forever known music
We were rare and lonely spirits, listening to the forever known music
Careful with our steps and waiting for a miracle to finally come around
Earth’s breath was wrapping us and our dreams, tightening and strangling
Broken, bruised, yet still going on with no hate for them
As long as we had the music, we were able to continue on
Our home sweet home was a journey ahead
The hushed tones and rhythms kept our hips swaying and our souls alive
Bodies bending, writhing, turning, twisting
We were caged, but free in our minds
With the beat of the music and dear sweet melodies
The lovely noise surrounding
Taking our bodies and minds to a new world
Our entire selves free in the movement and sway and bend
Out there we were hurt and judged, but not here
This was a safe haven
This was home
Our entire selves free in the movement and sway and bend
Out there we were hurt and judged, but not here
This was a safe haven
This was home
Wow, Katie! This is a great poem. I really like the way that you used commas to break up your writing and to influence how the reader goes along through your passage. I also like the way that you broke your poem up into two paragraphs that each have 8 lines, with no periods or punctuation other than the commas. The resolution "This was a safe haven/This was home" was very impactful. After reading this poem, I feel as though I am a member of this society; this "we".
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